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Texas Drifter: Part of Something Better Than?

Marshall’s Law Dateline – Question, satire requires how much truth to remain satire? Clue - There are different visions, images, models, and facades of evil. At what point, does satire become portrait of modern history?

Screenplay Concept Title: Part of Something Better Than?

Set: Old adobe fire proof jail with two front windows, one small side window, and no backdoor.

Players: Good Half Dozen Plus
1. Bounty Hunter (no name)
2. Town Vagabond (“Editor” Marshall)
3. Bar Maid – Blanca / Flaca)
4. Rangers (4. Captain Trump 5. Lieutenant Cruz 6. No Nick Name Rookie)
7. Livery Stable Owner (Limbaugh)
8. Goat Herder (Blanca’s Cousin)

Players: Filthy Dozen Plus
1) Prisoner (Obama)
2) Retired Sheriff (Bush II)
3) Acting Sheriff (J. Bush)
4) Acting Sheriff’s Deputy (G. Will)
5) Town Judge (“Judas” Roberts)
6) Prisoner’s Partner (“Back Shooter” Biden)
7) Chamber of Commerce Representatives (7. McConnell 8. Cornyn 9. Boehner)
10) Victims Representative (H. Clinton)
11) Mob Leaders (Beck and his cult groupies)
12) Other Mob members / Rest of town residents

ACT I

(Bounty Hunter climbs off his horse; gets prisoner with sack over his head and enters sheriff’s office /jail)
Bounty Hunter (slings prisoner onto floor): I have something you better want; and you have something I definitely want!
Acting Sheriff (J. BUSH): What’s that?
Bounty Hunter (shows poster) State of Texas is offering “ten thousand dollars for Obama ALIVE for crimes against Texas.”(Pulls sack off prisoner’s head) Your prisoner is alive, sign me a receipt; and I will be on my way.
Acting Sheriff (J. Bush): Elected sheriff, my brother, has retired. I am acting sheriff. If I sign your receipt, and prevent town from lynching your prisoner; I will not be elected. If I let town folks lynch Obama, the bad publicity of a sheriff letting lynching happen in this town; will still keep me from being elected. I really want to be elected sheriff; so why don’t you take your prisoner and get out of my town.
Bounty Hunter: Rangers should be here tomorrow morning; too many in this town look like back shooters; for me to look for another place to take my prisoner out of this jail, this late in the day; so sign my receipt; or leave your badge on the desk, and go somewhere else.
Acting sheriff (J. Bush tosses badge on table and says): You are on your own Bounty Hunter.
Bounty Hunter: Well Deputy (G. Will), guess that makes you sheriff; so you can sign my receipt?
Deputy (G. Will): Look I am really town’s weekly paper editor; I am not a professional “kill-“; I mean hired gun like you. My news views and family come before defending due process with anything besides words.
Bounty Hunter: Leave your badge on the desk then go write about protecting First Amendment with nothing more than words. Go tell town judge that I want to talk to him in person. Surely you have the courage to do that?
(Bounty Hunter puts sack back on Obama’s head; then chains him to back of empty cell; then turns to old man in adjoining cell.)
Bounty Hunter: Get up old man – get out – I may need that cell!
Town Vagabond (Editor Marshall): I don’t know you – besides city owes me another night of lodging.
Bounty Hunter: What’s your story?
T.V. (Ed. M.): – I am friendly town drunk; this is only roof I have to sleep under.
Bounty Hunter: Well do your living in the corner; just stay out of my way - If you are the friendly town drunk; you probably know everything about everyone in this town?
T.V. (Ed. M.): If I tell you; they will run me out of my only home.
Bounty Hunter: They will, if I tell them you did; even though you didn’t tell me anything.
T.V. (Ed. M.): Tell you more than you want to know; take me to the next town, when you leave; thinking about looking for better place to live anyway. That fair?
Bounty Hunter: Deal
Bounty Hunter (looking through window across street asks Ed. M.) – Who is hired gun in pink vest in front of saloon?
Ed. M.: Called “Back Shooter” Biden, some say he is your prisoner’s partner.
Town Judge “Judas” Roberts (knocks on door and enters sheriff’s office/ jail): What do you want?
Bounty Hunter: You are highest ranking legal official in this town. I need you to sign this receipt so I can be on my way. To collect my money at bank in Sonora.
Judge “Judas Roberts”: Will not do that. Save you the trouble of asking; I like being the celebrity invited to all social events in this town. If I sign your receipt, town’s people will not like that; nor will town’s chamber of commerce whose money runs this town. Sometimes being popular is nor important than some old forgotten oath to bunch of citizens too stupid to survive freedom. If you excuse me, I need to report in to my sheep?
Bounty Hunter: Wait! (Picks up sheriff’s badge on desk) Swear me in as county sheriff until Rangers arrive in town tomorrow.
Judge “Judas” Roberts: consider yourself sworn in; Rangers will believe me not you.
Bounty Hunter: Would not bet your life on that. One more thing, as evil as Obama is; the stench you leave on this community will never match Obama’s putrid stench. Do not return to my office until rangers arrive. Also do not tell anyone I have been sworn in as sheriff.
Ed. M.: Folks ever say they are glad to see you leave?
Bounty Hunter: I have a job for you my undercover deputy. Put on a pot of coffee; take this gold piece and go across street to saloon; buy best bottle of whiskey they have (sure you know what that is); bring me that bottle of whiskey with unbroken seal; tell Biden in pink vest I want to see him in my office. Also tell him that I will come looking for him in the shadows, if he does not stop by for short visit; also do not tell anyone I am temporary sheriff. If you do not come straight back; I will start asking folks if they have seen my undercover deputy. Your ride out of this town comes with your contributing to my getting my receipt signed.
(Bounty Hunter starts rigging double barreled shot gun resting against Obama’s body if anyone tries to “in any way” open jail cell door without knowing trick to disable old twelve gauge. Shortly after maze of ropes and chains is finished; undercover deputy just walks in.)
(Bounty Hunter draws his short barreled forty-four) New Rule: anyone comes through that door without knocking gets shot. Put a sign on door that says such. Then pour yourself a cup of coffee.
Ed. M.: Did what you said; told Back Shooter Biden what you said. Here is the unopened bottle of saloon’s best whiskey.
Bounty Hunter: Good work; for the record, you are still on probation as undercover deputy; the whiskey is for me; all you get is coffee till you get off probation.
Ed. M.: When’s that?
Bounty Hunter: Don’t bother asking me; I will let you know. Now go put up that knock before opening door sign.

ACT II

(Ed. M. just poured his cup of coffee when he and Bounty Hunter hear loud knock at door.)
Bounty Hunter: Well your sign works – see who it is.
(Ed. M. walks over and looks out crack in window) – It’s Biden.
Bounty Hunter: Good – open door slowly, let him in; then step out of way.
(After doing what he was told – Biden slowly walks in)
(Standing in arms reach – slightly aside Biden) Bounty Hunter: Appreciate you not making me look for you in the shadows. I wanted you to see your partner’s cell. Anyone moves that cell door fraction of an inch; you and your friends will have two Obama partners. Now I want you to slowly with your left thumb and little finger, remove your pistol, put it on the desk. Then you and you friends will ride out of town and not return until day after tomorrow.
Back Shooter Biden: I do not take orders from any Bounty Hunter.
Bounty Hunter: True, I am not telling you as a Bounty Hunter; I am ordering you as new temporary county sheriff recently sworn in by Judge Judas. Now slowly put your gun on my desk.
Back Shooter Biden – You could die trying to take my 45.
Bounty Hunter: I was hoping you would say that. (As if like lighting with two quick blows with what appeared to be small “black jack”; Bounty Hunter broke the “back shooter’s” gun arm and opposite jaw.)
Bounty Hunter (Then with his boot on “back shooter’s” shoulder slowly removed the .45; and set the weapon on his desk. Then looking at Ed. M.): Drag this “back shooter” to back of your old cell. Use leg irons, one on good arm and opposite leg through bars to secure our prisoner so he cannot move; then put this black bag over his head.

Bounty Hunter continuing: I want you to remember three things for rest of your life about Back Shooter Biden.
1. Threatened the life of a peace officer
2. Resisted lawful arrest
3. I used reasonable force to do my job.
4. Understand
Ed. M.: Yes Sir!
Bounty Hunter: After you secure the prisoner; pour yourself a fresh cup of coffee. Think I will have a taste of that good whiskey you brought me. Any complaints?
Ed. M.: No Sir! (Bounty hunter sat down at desk to pour himself a deserved beverage-drink.
(After what could have been plus or minus and hour – another knock at door)
Bounty Hunter: See who it is.
Ed. M. (looking through crack in window): Town’s chamber of commerce money barons – McConnell, Cornyn, and Boehner. (Bounty Hunter waves let them in.)
Bounty Hunter: What can I do for you pillars of the community?
McConnell: We took up a donation of ten thousand dollars for you; hoping you will take it and leave town without your prisoner.
Bounty Hunter: Why would that benefit you three pillars of the community?
Cornyn: Railroad is thinking about settling here to be major hub for moving livestock up north. They are not likely to set up in a town known for a recent lynching. Take the money, what do you care if the ten thousand is from State of Texas or Chamber of Commerce?
Bounty Hunter: What happens to Obama?
McConnell: Prisoner shot while escaping is not long time news.
Bounty Hunter: Never was much of pillar in the community. Taking money from State of Texas is legal bounty so even an accused low life like Obama can get a due process trial, and due process hanging if that is what jury and judge decide. Taking your money, and leaving an accused low life like Obama to be murdered by pillars of the community like you would be premediated murder. A distinction that community leader like you would never understand. (Without warning, Boehner breaks out in tears with squealing sobs old women would have trouble matching.)
Bounty Hunter: Get him and your blood money out of my office; before I charge you three with attempting to bribe a duly sworn in peace officer. That’s right, Judge Judas Roberts, did not tell you that before you came over here; and tried to bribe me? I am not going to tell you again, get out of my office, and take your cry baby Boehner with you. (All three abruptly exited.) (Looks at Ed. M.)
Ed. M.: Those are second people you told about Judas Roberts swearing you in.
Bounty Hunter: Bad secrets are hard to keep.
(About thirty minutes later another knock at door) Bounty Hunter: Next time make a smaller sign.
(Again Ed. M. hustles to rack in widow): H. Clinton – Town “busy body” serving all victims everywhere. Bitter spiritually barren old woman who is in no way related to Obama’s victims. She thinks her wealth make her town’s beauty queen; and “all” town’s people desire to be with her in a romantic way.
Bounty Hunter: Hope she is here to be with you; I am in no mood for romance. Let her in.
H. Clinton (steps inside): I am here for justice for relatives of Obama’s victims.
Bounty hunter: Lady it has been a long day that is still not over. Go to Obama’s trial and find all the justice you want.
H. Clinton: Don’t mock me you female hating conservative – No hanging no justice - Hear what I said? – I said no hanging no justice. – Do you think I am attractive? –
Bounty Hunter – Lady, nothing personal – but I prefer more experienced women.
H. Clinton – I have lots of experience.
Bounty Hunter: (Looks at Ed. M.) Escort this concerned citizen out of here. (H. Clinton starts screaming “no hanging no justice” as she is escorted out side.)
(Bounty Hunter start re-loading few ten gauge shells)
(As night edged on Bounty Hunter and Ed. M. starting hearing rocks or bricks hitting door and wooden window shutters) (Ed. M. glanced though different smaller crack in other window) – Thirty to forty some carrying long post; looks like to ram door. (Not stopping)
Leader goes by name Beck; just showed up and started donating little money to town’s only church – Shortly after, his cult like groupies started drifting into town and took over the church. Now Beck and followers have become town’s self-appointed prophets of community standards. They intimidate the weak and avoid the strong. He builds his reputation by begging for church members hard earned dollars. Also heard he traded being addicted to alcohol, for being addicted to vanity.
(Suddenly mob could be heard screaming) “No hanging tonight – no justice”; “No hanging tonight – no justice”; “No hanging tonight – no justice” …
Bounty Hunter (Picks up some of ten gauge shells he had been re-loading) (Then picks up old double barreled ten gauge, and loads two of recently re-loaded shells): When I nod, open door all the way and step back; let’s see how tough Beck’s cult lynch mob really is.
Bounty Hunter (Nods) (Levels ten gauge at mob and fires both barrels) (After few seconds, deathly silence covers area in front of door): Next time I will use lead, not rock salt; leave post where it is; Judge Judas Roberts swore me in as sheriff till tomorrow; see any of you on streets till after sunrise; I will shoot you as looters. (Steps back looks at Ed. M.) Close the door.
Bounty Hunter to Ed. M.: Pour yourself another cup of coffee; I deserve small drink of the good whiskey you brought me.
(It was not even fifteen minutes before there was another light taps on door.) Bounty Hunter: Who now?
(Ed. M. being quick to window): It’s Blanca, barmaid from cantina bad side of town. Looks like she brought food basket. (Bounty Hunter waves let her in.)
Bounty Hunter: Why are you here Flaca?
Blanca: It is Blanca not Flaca!
Bounty Hunter: Look Flaca, why would you risk your life bringing us food?
Blanca: I hate this town. You take me with you when you leave.
Ed. M.: We can’t send her out or leave her here now; they had to see her come in with food basket. Besides Blanca makes best “cabrito asado” tacos in this part of Texas.
Bounty Hunter: Alright, Flaca, we will take you with us; if the food is good and you do not talk to me until we are ready to leave.

ACT III

(Good while after sunrise, three solid knocks startled those in old jail resting between restless dozing and napping.)
Bounty Hunter: That is a Ranger’s knock, let them in. Ed. M. opens door so two very alert Rangers could walk in.) Lt. Cruz, never thought I would enjoy seeing you again.
Lt. Cruz: Guessed the unsigned telegram might be from you.
Bounty Hunter: I have a State of Texas poster offering ten thousand dollars for Obama “alive”. As you can see he is moving so; mind signing this receipt so I (I mean we) can get on our way? Don’t worry about the cell door contraption; the shotgun is not loaded; besides he would not be worth anything dead.
Lt. Cruz: (points to other cell) what’s his story?
Bounty Hunter: Locals call him “Back Shooter” Biden. His crimes:
1. Threatened the life of a peace officer
2. Resisted lawful arrest
3. I used reasonable force to do my job. Do not know if there’s a bounty on him; would not claim it anyway as Judge swore me in as Sheriff until you arrived. You are here; (puts sheriff’s badge on desk); mind signing this receipt?
Second Ranger: (Removes bag from Biden’s head”) - This prisoner has a broken jaw and broken arm.
Lt. Cruz: (Points to Blanca) – What do you know?
Bounty Hunter: Flaca was not here when I took Back Shooter Biden into custody.
Lt. Cruz: (Looks at Ed. M.) – What do you know?
Ed. M.: Only what I saw (pointing at Biden):
1. He threatened the life of a peace officer
2. Resisted lawful arrest
3. Sheriff used reasonable force to do his job. That is what I heard and saw.
Lt. Cruz: You are right you get nothing on Back Shooter Biden’s bounty as you were sheriff; have to admit the unpleasant: Obama’s bounty went up to twenty thousand dollars. Where’s you receipt?
Bounty Hunter: Mind writing three receipts in equal amounts for me, and for these two citizens who helped me finish my job?
Lt. Cruz: State of Texas will write you one receipt; divide it up like you wish. I will inform the bank in Sonora that you will be stopping by, with in the next week. Also pains me to tell you this; Captain Trump, said you could have your Ranger commission back; if you would agree to follow most of the rules.
Bounty Hunter: Thank Captain Trump for his offer; thinking about buying a little land and opening a cantina that serves good coffee; only good, “cabrito asado” in this part of Texas; and good whiskey. That is if I can find few investors.
Lt. Cruz; about the post in the middle of the street?
Bounty Hunter: Misunderstanding with some misguided church goers – they shouldn’t be too hard to identify.
(As bounty Hunter steps outside): Where are the horses we rode in on? (Sees raised hand and hears strong voice.)
Livery Stable Owner: Took them to my livery stable – after it appeared you were staying the night – bathed them; fed them, and made sure they got good night’s care.
Bounty Hunter: Good man – I will pay for care of my horse – State of Texas will pay you for care of Obama’s horse which is probably stolen – Here is hundred twenty gold – for my horse’s care – plus I need two decent mounts with decent saddles – sooner the better – like to get on my way soon as possible.
Liver Stable Owner: On my way; I will hurry; get you your change –
Bounty Hunter: Keep it Limbaugh, you are probably only honest man is this town.
(Bounty Hunter turns to Blanca): Flaca, take these gold coins; go to general store; get whatever supplies we need like coffee pot, coffee, whatever you think best for five to seven day ride. Tell the store owner to carry back our supplies for you – he objects just tell me. Ed. M. go with her; make sure the chamber of commerce member does not cheat her on prices or change.
Lt. Cruz: can I talk to you inside before you leave? (Looks at second Ranger) – go rent State of Texas a wagon to transport our prisoners back to San Antonio.
Lt. Cruz: One question, why you splitting your reward equally with Ed. M. and Blanca?
Bounty Hunter: Simple, part of something is better than all of nothing.
Lt. Cruz: Good enough.
(After five or so minutes, Lt. Cruz and Bounty Hunter step back outside the old adobe jail) (Just in time to notice Limbaugh leading Bounty Hunter’s horse and two good looking mounts with better than average saddles plus)
Bounty Hunter: Owe you more money – (then quips) – What is that?
Blanca: It’s a burro, for my cousin; he is best goat herder in Texas; besides I am partner in a cantina, not a goat herder – before you ask that dog is my cousin’s best helper. Problem Sir?
Bounty Hunter: No problem – get everything loaded so we can get started. (Looks at livery stable owner)
Livery Stable Owner: We’re even, burro is throw in.
H. Clinton: (Straddles up) - You chose her over me?
Bounty Hunter: Told you I was interested in someone more experienced – in like not being perfect witch. (Turns and walks back into old adobe jail) – Everyone get mounted – Ed. M. you ride in dust; make sure we do not lose the burro, goat herder, or dog – don’t want to have to go back and look for them. Be right back.
Lt. Cruz: Forget something?
Bounty Hunter: Not used to leading a parade, getting my bottle of good whiskey. (Comes out; mounts up; only to hear Lt. Cruz: Rangers will find you, and be checking in regular; to make sure you are not mistreating you partners, workers, burro, or dog.)
(As parade leaves town limits; Blanca rides up along-side Bounty Hunter – says in loud whisper): My name is Blanca, I am equal owner in our new business; you can only call me Flaca when no one else is around. Just so you never forget: never ever, make the one who prepares your food unhappy!

QUESTIONS FOLLOWING END OF: “Part of Something Better Than?”

Bonus question – Observation, evil always seems nice and friendly – Texas Drifter has never met an unfriendly con artist. TRUE not FALSE

Clue – Evil’s most cost effective asset is vanity – example, “I really like that family despite their abuses of my America’s country, economy, and constitution. Why, because they were always so nice and helpful to my career.” Name the celebrity quoted and family being referenced.

Bonus thought question – How did Hitler get away with doing all the evils Hitler committed? Reader might find answer by determining how Obama gets away with doing all the evils that Obama commits against: America’s Constitution; America’s economy; America’s citizens and legal residents; America’s domestic tranquility and national security; America’s allies. Soul searching question, would the same Americans who tolerate Obama’s evils; have tolerated Hitler getting away with Hitler’s evils? Answer probably yes. TRUE not FALSE

Clue - There are different visions, images, models, and facades of evil.